“Don’t be so hard on yourself. The mom in E.T. had an alien living in her house for days and she never even noticed.”
We have all felt it at one time or another. To be honest, I just felt it today when I sat down to read my book instead of playing school with my daughter.
Yup, I felt guilty about taking 20 minutes to myself to read.
This, my friends, is mom guilt.
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As moms, we so often lose ourselves in our kids and the daily grind that we forget to take any time for ourselves.
And then when we do get a couple minutes to sit down and relax or take a nice bath, we feel bad for not spending that time with our kids.
Mom guilt is that feeling of inadequacy as a parent. That feeling that your kids deserve more than you are giving them. That feeling that their 1st birthday wasn’t as big as it should be or you couldn’t afford a sweet sixteen and feel like a bad mom.
Ridiculous really, but I have never met a mom who can say they have never felt this kind of guilt. (If you have, I’d love to be best friends with her!)
I have felt this type of guilt more times than I can even count.
I have felt bad for saying no to my daughter when she wanted to go to the park because I just wanted to be home with nothing to do for the first time in a week. I have felt sad and guilty when I couldn’t buy her that expensive toy she wanted for Christmas.
But you know what? I am finally letting go of this guilt. This mom guilt.
I am not going to beat myself up anymore if I yelled today more than I wanted to. I’m done allowing this guilt to rob me of the numerous joys of motherhood.
Here are a few ways that you too can finally put that mommy guilt behind you and embrace parenthood for all its messiness and imperfections.
Stop Comparing Yourself.
Seriously. Just stop. You have no idea who people actually are or what their lives actually look like. Everyone has a different journey and a different path to walk. Stop comparing your journey with someone else’s. It is only going to make you feel worse!
Let Go Of Expectation.
This has been a big one for me and something I have been working on for a while now. I tend to have unrealistic expectations for things in my life and then am undoubtedly let down when something doesn’t live up to that expectation, which usually it doesn’t.
For example, each year for my daughter’s birthday party we go all out, I mean way over the top, and each year I leave the party feeling stressed and annoyed. Someone is always unhappy about something, the food didn’t come out as I had hoped and the decorations blew away before the guests even arrived.
I am learning that nothing is ever perfect and usually doesn’t go as planned. I am not going to let these expectations ruin days for me and am working on focusing on the positive like the smile on her face when she sees her birthday cake. She isn’t expecting perfection, so why am I?
Take Some Time For Yourself.
I rarely ever take time for myself. Whenever I do get the chance, my mom guilt kicks in hardcore and I feel horrible for even wanting the time. But that my friends, is changing. Since I have such a difficult time removing myself from the role of mom, I am now scheduling the time in. Yup, I have become that person.
Now, I know that I have the time with my little one because I have planned it and that makes me feel 100 times better about then taking some of my free time to read a book or take a cat nap. If you have the same struggle that I do, try and schedule in just 20 minutes a day of “me” time!
Remember That You Are Enough.
You are enough, just the way you are. On the days when you are feeling guilty or like a failure, please remember that you are doing the best that you can and that is enough. This is part of the journey I have been taking and when I take a step back and remember that my daughter loves me for who I am and that I am enough, I am able to banish a lot of that guilt!
What is one thing that gives you the most mom guilt? How are you going to finally break up with this guilt? I would love to hear your ideas and stories! Comment below! XOXO